How Can I Heal From Trauma and Still Allow Joy and Pleasure Back Into My Life?

The Overlooked Part of Healing

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Healing from trauma is layered. Some days you feel like you’re making progress. Other days, it feels like you’re back at the beginning. It’s brave, difficult work—and it can also feel overwhelming.

One challenge I see often is this: in the pursuit of healing, joy and pleasure sometimes get lost. You can spend so much time unpacking the past that it becomes hard to step into the present.

But here’s the truth: joy isn’t separate from healing. Joy is part of it.

Step 1: Notice When Healing Feels Like a Rabbit Hole

When you’ve lived through trauma, healing can feel like a full-time job. Therapy sessions, journaling, exploring triggers, trying to understand your patterns—it’s all important. And it’s courageous.

But sometimes, the process itself becomes consuming. Healing turns into an endless rabbit hole of “fixing” and “figuring out.” You peel back layer after layer, but joy always feels out of reach. Instead of living, you’re preparing to live.

Step 2: Remember Reintegration Is Essential

Processing pain is important, but healing also requires reintegration—stepping back into a life that includes joy, connection, and love. Without that piece, you can remain in survival mode.

Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses may linger, especially when something unexpected happens. In those moments, pleasure might feel unsafe or undeserved. You may even catch yourself wondering: “Is it okay for me to be happy? Do I deserve this?”

Those doubts are natural. But they don’t have to define your next chapter.

Step 3: Redefine Healing Through Pleasure

The shift happens when you allow joy to be part of your healing—not something you postpone until you’re “done.”

I call this pleasure-centered healing.

It’s not about ignoring the hard work of trauma recovery. It’s about holding both truths: doing the work and making space for beauty, laughter, connection, and desire.

It’s enjoying a sunny morning. A shared meal. A playful moment with your partner. Not waiting until you’re “finished healing” to let those things in—because joy itself is healing.

Step 4: Practice Presence in Small Moments

One way to start is with presence. Slow down. Notice what feels good.

• The warmth of your partner’s hand in yours.
• The sound of music that lifts your mood.
• The first sip of coffee in the morning.

Give yourself permission to savor those moments. They’re not frivolous. They don’t need to be earned. They are part of re-teaching your body and spirit that safety, connection, and joy are possible.

The more you practice presence in pleasure, the less space fear and doubt have to take over.

Healing With Joy, Not Without It

Healing isn’t about erasing your past. It’s about reclaiming your present. And joy is a vital part of that reclamation.

Every time you let yourself laugh, savor, or feel, you remind yourself: I am alive. I am worthy. I can experience love and joy again.

So let yourself soften into those moments. Because joy isn’t the end of healing—it’s one of the ways we heal.

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